Black or White

     

Well  no one can “beat it” like MJ. He said it all, he said it already. Why are Tamilians ( not all, some are sane!)  obsessed with this color? It is a national flaw, but here in this state it flourishes more openly and in lightning speed. It is kinda scary to know even older people who are supposed to give their pearls of wisdom are drawn to this color craze like a moth to a flame.  Proof ? Read matrimonial columns, mark the words “fair complexion”  with a highlighter you will end up knowing how bad the situation is. Watch a few Tamil movies and see the color of the heroines…it is almost universally known fact that the hero, however average looking he may be, falls for the most whitest of actors available in the field. That is one of the main qualifications for a Tamil heroine…acting skills – not mandatory, Dialogue delivery – uh-huh, any skills at all – why, Fair complexion – Heroine! It is in the papers, on tv, in the movies, it is everywhere.

I grew up in a  place where being “white” is considered to be a real asset. And worse being “black” is considered unattractive and even ugly. My sisters, older and younger have fair complexion like my mom so every time we met some dimwit women on road (mom’s acquaintance or distant relatives)  I was asked “heeeee! Ni mattum ena karupa iruka? Heeee!” (How come you are dark? I hope the English translation still retains the stupidity of the tamil version!)  Then realizing they had hurt me they would say “heeeeee! Like your dad huh? Heeeeee”

So that’s how it was for me…low self- esteem watered by many. At home it was different, but I was young and stupid I listened to what the world was telling me.  My entire teen age was killed because of the thought that I was ugly. I may sound slutty but I must thank the boys who were after me at that period, It was actually them who gave me confidence.May be they had low standards may be they wanted any girl and not just “white” ones, but still they boosted my self confidence. “Thank you boys (probably men now)…wherever you are!” 

It happened to other girls too. When I was a freshman in college  one of my friends scared the beep out of us one day…she was all red, not because of blushing or being real mad at someone . When asked she said she had applied lemon juice on her face thinking she could become “white!”  And I know another girl who spent a fortune on this particular fairness cream, which she applied devotionally twice everyday. (Good it didn’t work for me then or I would have been an ardent fan of that product too at that time) There was another girl in my class whose face resembled a frog (not that frogs are ugly) but she walked with her head high because she was “whiter than the snow!” She was rude and most times said dumb things but girls liked her and hung out with her…ok may be this one girl is from my imagination but you know the type exists and you can’t deny that.

After college things changed a bit, I began to realize work and the way we behave are far more important than just looks. And now I’m in my thirties (early thirties, mind it!) I still beautify me with a little lip color and may be one or two more cosmetics, but I don’t give a damn about what others think of my complexion, however dark or uneven it may be.

But it scares me when I see an ocean of “fairness creams” displayed on the shelves of almost all the stores. Don’t get me wrong I’m not against all beauty products,  a scrub which gently exfoliates the dead cells on face or a kajal or an eyeliner are harmless according to me because they just add beauty to you. The  fairness creams on the other hand tells you that you are “black” and that only it can turn you into a pretty “white” girl. And it is not just that simple, it is not just one or two or three popular fairness creams there is a whole army of them ready to attack you –  Complete Fairness, Instant  Fairness, Flawless  Fairness ….it goes on, even the makers of this thing don’t know the end of this list.

Pretty is how healthy your skin is not how white it is.  Let us laugh at the people who think “black” is not pretty.

So Woman! Be as “black” as you can be! 

                          

The other side of the story (sari)!

     

         Recently I read an article in a popular newspaper, the writer  shared  his plight of wearing a tie to work. No I’m not kidding, and no he was not kidding either. He talks about how difficult it is for him to wear the tie all day at work, a dress habit which is not even in our culture. He goes on about the horribleness of the tie that suffocates the wearer. After reading it I couldn’t but wonder how women, especially the ones   who work as professors   have to wear the six yard sari to work and not complain? When a tiny piece of clothing such as a tie poses  a level of  discomfort I wonder if anyone thinks about the unspeakable things many women  go through wearing a sari to work?

          I work in an engineering college where I have to wear a sleeveless coat over my sari from nine to five. I am forbidden to go to my class without wearing it. So I am compelled to wear it at all times even when it is unbearably hot. It is okay even if I sweat profusely and the color of my blouse leaves a stain in the underarm area of the coat. “Students get distracted if a woman faculty wears only a sari” (it goes without saying the zillion things we wear underneath it) and so, the coat to the rescue!  In other colleges it is even worse the coats are dull colored and over sized. What makes me nauseous is,  more than the coat itself,  the idea behind it. “Comfort?  No you are a woman! You are all about responsibilities and sacrifices!”

 A woman’s body is made to be her weakness. With the curves and the boobs comes the mighty task of covering it up, not just with one or two clothing but more.  If you are a woman you are in constant fear of someone taking a glance at your body, strangers on the road, on the bus, many a time a close relative, someone in the family or in my profession my own students, which is very sad. For some it is a gift, wearing the coat over sari. Let it be. But why force it on (over) all women? Most of us get “institutionalized” a theory explained by the genius Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption. You get used to so much so that delivering a lecture without wearing the stupid coat becomes difficult.  

 The history of sari goes back to the Indus valley civilization, flourished between 2800 -1800 BC. Yes, no one can deny the elegance and beauty of sari and the cultural importance it holds. But why should I be in one when I am delivering a lecture or when I have to run to catch my bus or when I have to ride my two wheeler  to work?  Why wear something that does not cover the body well enough and blame the woman for not wearing it properly? Sari is no way comfortable for women in teaching profession. A salwar  kameez  with a dupatta gives an equally dignified look.

   The transition for men from “vaeshti” to trousers happened so silently, with no one talking about culture but when it is from sari to salwar for women, many open gutters of insults and point it out to be  the reason for crime against women.  Only the ones who wear sari everyday to work, with the tight skirt underneath (which not only leaves a mark around the waist, but also becomes very itchy), can know the discomfort and the pain.

 Some argue that if a lecturer wears salwar then students will not respect them. This is such a profession that one is respected for not how one looks but one is respected for how one teaches and treats students. It is a two way street, my students respect me not because I show up in a sari but because I respect them. And for those who say there will not be any difference between woman faculty and girl students – a woman faculty in salwar is not going to pose as a student and attend a class neither will a girl student pose as a faculty and deliver a lecture to a class and if either one  happens the person must be appreciated.

                I wonder if ever we will be free from this five yard shackles.​                                                                                                  

Lessons for a Teacher.

        

 My journey as a lecturer started in 2002 when I was hired as a Teaching Assistant in a reputed Arts and Science college in Madurai. I was so happy that I was selected out of many capable candidates. I had not even completed M PHIL then. 

Lesson 1: Know your audience!

So it began,  teaching English in College. Sounds so fancy, does it not?   I was the youngest of all my government employed senior faculty members in the department of English. I stood confidently in front of my students, a room full of teenagers, discussed medieval fiction and poetry, but the staff room gave me the jitters .

   I tried to fit in and I did by pretending to be one of them. I was strict and I didn’t leave the classroom without completing what I had planned for that day. I continued even when  they gave me the please-stop-right- now look . I made them stand in the class if they had not brought their text books. Horrible, horrible days   for  both  them  and  me.

            I read somewhere that if you have to pretend even something simple as a smile itcan leave you drained. I could not pretend anymore. I began to look at them not only as students but as a group of young people who would rather kill themselves than to listen to one more lifeless boring lecture.  By that time I also realized that I need not get others’ approval as long as I teach and my class gets it. I tried to fit in with the wrong crowd, for a teacher students is their audience. I stopped teaching language and started talking (the lessons and about all life’s stuff) to them. They listened and they learnt.

            Everyone talks about how noble this profession is and that it is in the hands of a teacher to build a better nation as we are in direct contact with the future citizens but a teacher’s salary(in private institutions) is something to be kept as a secret. I enjoyed teaching but I was paid low and so had to quit.

            Talking your heart can get you into trouble. I know this better. It is the sorry state of us that we have to survive between two worlds- of students and of the employer. I am expected to stand all tall and keep my foot down in my class and I am expected not so to my employer.

    Lesson 2:  Speak your heart or not?      

      After quitting from my first job I joined as a lecturer in another arts and science college in the city.  The students were on the more mischievous side. The society had its bad influence on the youngsters too. Initially I had trouble with the guy students who thought themselves as MEN and I was seen merely as a young woman.

This is a highly patriarchal society that a woman is someone  who is seen less than a man. Once I went out  during  lunch to a shop across the college. I went past a group of students who were sitting there whiling away time. They whistled looking at me. I didn’t mind them  and kept walking, a  little apprehended to face them as I had never gone to their class. They didn’t stop with that though.

 As I was gulping down the cold drink I had bought they threw tiny pebbles very close to me, which made the shopkeeper mad. He shouted at them and they stopped. After I was done there I went to them, looked at them and told them that I had joined in the department of English recently only to see them throw a silly laughter. With a smile in my face I told them that as I had not troubled them in any way they should not too. Their quietness let me know that they got it.   

            I had no trouble connecting with the young minds, it’s the so called older and wiser group which I don’t get at all. So, everything was going fine in this college till the day all women faculty were called for a meeting. A senior woman faculty addressed us and told us that all women faculty must wear a ‘bun hairdo’ as part of the dress code. Yes,  the  purpose of the meeting was ‘bun.’ 

            It sounded silly to me at that time that with all the things we could do with this amazing bunch of young people, all they think about was  imposing  one more rule to womankind, that too  based on the appearance. I could not accept the fact that people here think that a woman has too many limitations because of their  anatomy. In this case my long hair! How could my long hair (plaited or pony-tailed) be a distraction to my students? I raised this question in a faculty meeting and the management’s answer was even more stupid than the new code itself. It was said that there was no difference between the girl students(when they come in sari) and the woman-faculty members. I said I found no difference between the boy students and the man faculty members as for both the dress code was trousers and shirts I was fired.

            My journey (trouble) did  not  end there. After nine years, after working in two more colleges in the same city (of which in one college women faculty had to uniform sari) I took a four year break. And the things that happened in that period will be covered under the topic “domestic violence” very soon.  Currently I am working as an Assistant Professor in an Engineering College, and this time it is a “coat” in the dress code here that is driving me crazy.