Lone Queen.

              It’s been a long time since I could write anything as I have been dealing with the demons inside of me. My demons are not evil or strong but they have the potential to take out happiness and peace ending with absolute irrecoverable state of depth-less abyss. Or so I thought. 
              It is difficult to be single, not to have anyone to share your life with, but there are some perks to it too. And it is those perks that give me a hand when I fall into the pit. 
              Every time I realize that I am alone or left to feel that way by someone, like any other woman I gain or lose weight, take comfort from pills or vodka, cry myself to sleep, spend sleepless nights with the million whys and hows and end up being angry at myself for creating such situations. 
               I suffer greatly with the loss. What I love about such hard times is that it makes me see things clearer, like the sky when the cloud is lifted.  I begin to embrace life again. Bouncing back from a bad relationship is rejuvenating. 
              The scars can never be made to nothing but what also refuses to disappear are the memories. Only this time in my head I choose to play the good times over and over again.          
             That proves that my happiness is in my control and not in the actions of the other  person.  
The pain starts to heal when I take full responsibilities for the collapse of the relationship. 
            I stumble upon the bridge of self loathing before I cross the ocean. That is the real danger in this process of accepting what is taken away and moving on, of course Tinder would be a blessing too. 
Going back to the perks – No one to please but myself.  




My throne, My rules!