Are men smarter in relationships?

I guess they might be. Shocking yeah!

 My feelings towards men are as confusing as it is understanding a woman for men.  I am still learning new things about me and it is amazing when that happens. I  have this wtf moment!  My mind goes “wtf you took these many years to realize this?!”  I have started learning from “them”  because they seem to be more relaxed and happier than women. Here are the things we have to learn from men

1.  not wanting to be special

Many problems arise because women want to be treated special. A guy looks at himself as a guy simple.  He never wants to be treated any differently  than others. He loves being one with the crowd. But women? I can’t even wear the same dress as another woman. It is not just expecting others to treat me special that makes cracks in the relationship, but I treat myself like I am not ordinary. That is where the drama starts. When something, anything happens we tend to exaggerate the event and the feelings associated with it. And so tears and turmoil!

2. not for decorative

Yeah women know better to beautify any space . We have a knack for such things. But guys know how not to complicate a relationship and keep it  clean. I am not saying that they know to keep a successful relationship. But they keep it much simpler than we do.  I could doubt the foundation of the relationship if certain words are missing or certain acts are forgotten.  Forget their birthday, Not a problem to them! I still think about what was gifted to me years back and wonder if he loved me at all!

3. not keeping a stupid  pyramid

This is the major mistake that girls do.  We think of “him” as our world and forget about friends and sometimes even family. ‘He’ is put on a pedestal, huge efforts and time  are dedicated on his behalf; in a way that even the guy begins to believe that he is more than what he is worth. But a guy never ends or ignores his friends. He doesn’t have a pyramid of priorities. It’s all ‘plain’ to him.

 My Guy

My Guy

My Guy

 My Guy

 Pyramid of a Woman in love

                               (Add Work, Family, Friends below those levels and do picture a triangle too around "My Guy")

                      

4. not wanting to share everything     

This is the best and the most difficult lesson to learn. Ancient philosophers included, people of all  ages in history say that A woman is a Mystery. How silly! I think they overlooked the genius of men. I have this uncontrollable urge to share everything that happened from the moment I opened my eyes till the moment I opened the doors for him. Men don’t talk nor do they want to listen to us go on and on about every little detail about every little thing that had happened that day or from the day we were born. We perceive their zen like trance to be indifference. Why do we have this need to dump it all out? Yeah it is good for us but I don’t know if it is good for the relationship. He is just a guy, who went through the day like anyone else, not a therapist.

 P.S.

 They may be "smarter" but nature can not be manipulated. The gender fight will never end as long as we are true to our nature.

Lipstick!

This may sound shallow to some, but not to me. I was fascinated by this tiny stick of color right from my young age. I was in fourth or fifth grade when I first put it on my lips. It was a school dance and had to stand in a long line of eager girls to get to the make up guy. After he dabbed the what looked like a paint brush on my lips, I knew I was pretty without even looking in the mirror. I kept my head high as I left the room full of ‘average looking’ girls. And then I got to see it in the movies, pretty women taking this shiny stick out from their expensive purses. More than what it does I was fascinated to see how the attitude was highlighted when they put it on.  It was like a weapon with some invisible power  given to the soul.

 The first time I went out in public with lipstick on was when I was 26. Shocking yeah!  Brought up that way.  I didn’t have a clue about picking the right color. My first lipstick was  brick red, then it was blood red, I even had a purple and a  lightest of shiny brown shade.

Many people have told me that lipstick doesn’t suit me and that I shouldn’t use it. I even embarrassed my sisters once when I used a color that made my lips look  “like they are burnt.”  

What is truth? What I see in the mirror or what others tell me what they see?

 It is funny how our mind works.

It is easier as long as it is just one mind that we listen to.

Lone Queen.

              It’s been a long time since I could write anything as I have been dealing with the demons inside of me. My demons are not evil or strong but they have the potential to take out happiness and peace ending with absolute irrecoverable state of depth-less abyss. Or so I thought. 
              It is difficult to be single, not to have anyone to share your life with, but there are some perks to it too. And it is those perks that give me a hand when I fall into the pit. 
              Every time I realize that I am alone or left to feel that way by someone, like any other woman I gain or lose weight, take comfort from pills or vodka, cry myself to sleep, spend sleepless nights with the million whys and hows and end up being angry at myself for creating such situations. 
               I suffer greatly with the loss. What I love about such hard times is that it makes me see things clearer, like the sky when the cloud is lifted.  I begin to embrace life again. Bouncing back from a bad relationship is rejuvenating. 
              The scars can never be made to nothing but what also refuses to disappear are the memories. Only this time in my head I choose to play the good times over and over again.          
             That proves that my happiness is in my control and not in the actions of the other  person.  
The pain starts to heal when I take full responsibilities for the collapse of the relationship. 
            I stumble upon the bridge of self loathing before I cross the ocean. That is the real danger in this process of accepting what is taken away and moving on, of course Tinder would be a blessing too. 
Going back to the perks – No one to please but myself.  




My throne, My rules! 

"Wrong" Light.

I was in a heavily crowded clothes store the other day. It was on a Sunday and many items were on sale. There was a slow moving, long line at the billing counter. I was very vigilant about not letting anyone cut the line. You got to move the next second the one that is in front of you takes one step forward and there has to be the right amount of space between you, so as not let the others think that they could come in between you two. Work! After like thirty seven hours (well it seemed like that!) I was near the cashier. My heart sang joyfully. But it stopped abruptly when I saw a man, next to me, ready to pay the bill. What the hell! How did this happen?  I was so careful! I was so mad at him. Why are people so inconsiderate?   Where is this world going?  Thoughts of anger and more  anger was clouding my head. I sensed a storm raging inside of me. When the lady in front of me moved there we were. The sales guy looked at us, both handing out the clothes in our hands to him. He took the other guy’s items. I said,” What are you doing? I was before him!” raising my voice. The man said otherwise though very rudely. I denied that and threw a stern look at the sales guy making him realize his mistake and do my billing first. I knew very well that these two men were ganging up on me and that I needed to stand my ground.

But he said “Mam you are not in the line” Wait what?  I was not! Oh God how did this happen?! I was standing in the line but somehow I had strayed away and it was me standing on the side of the line. Right at that moment I was very aware of all the eyes that were on me. I was totally embarrassed. 

Hatred or anger carried in our heart is bound to come out most likely at the wrong time and at the wrong person. With each such realization ( or rather embarrassing event)  you see life a bit clearer.  Though I was wrong and it happened to me I found it cool how it all ends , with a light in my heart.