Growing Up Sucks!

As you age, you change roles and the responsibilities mount up day after day and you feel like there is no air left for you to breathe in.  This has been talked about for ages, how as we grow up we lose the joy of being a child, of seeing beauty in any simplest of things.

If growing up means looking all serious and not smiling or laughing loudly then screw it! I don’t want to be a grown up!

If growing up means not playing hide and seek  with the neighborhood kids, then I don’t want to be a grown up!

If growing up means showing no emotion when someone in higher position insults you or annoys you, then, no I don’t want to be a grown up!

If growing up means nodding your head  to the words of your boss no matter how senseless they are, I don’t wanna be a grown up… Ever!

If growing up means looking at the rainbow and saying  ”yeah that’s a rainbow” with no scream of joy, then Hell No! I don’t wanna be a grown up!

 If growing up means not slipping into the pit of sadness and not shedding tears, then no I dont wanna be a grown up!
If growing up means  living in fear of consequences, of future, of failing, of  losing job, of losing reputation, then I refuse to be a grown up!

I fear losing a dear friend to misunderstanding, of losing a loved one to time, of losing an experience by being too careful.

 I would rather climb up the shaky ladder feel the exhilarating view for just a few seconds, fall down and hurt myself  than just be safe.  “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”

I would rather “Stop and Stare” the wondrous world of nature  than to attend a stupid meeting on time. I will come up with an awesome excuse later, because I AM ALIVE!

What's up Doc?

When I was little what was popularly said about doctors was their humanly-impossible-to-decipher writing on the prescription. And now the second thing that is rather disturbing is how many don’t even talk to us when we go for consultation. I took my daughter yesterday to this seemingly ‘good’ hospital at 7 o’ clock in the morning and was actually glad to see a doctor come in after just a few minutes of waiting. She was in her fifties. She gave a look at two families there, mine and a crying boy’s. Looking at the small cut in the toddler’s forehead she said “have to put one stitch!” The parents of the little boy looked worried as the boy was already crying in pain. The doc didn’t even want to know how the cut happened.
Then the doctor turned to us and said “what?”( I didn’t wanna use the word ‘asked’, as it suggests a tiny bit of care or concern) I told her about my 8 year old’s fever and vomiting. She asked “what did she have for dinner last night?” “Cheese balls and curd rice” I replied. “Does your tummy hurt?“ My daughter shook her head.
The doctor looked at me and said “ Admit her for the day” by the next second she left the room. I knew that moment why the toddler’s parents gave that blank look. This experienced doctor had no time to talk to us, tell us what and why and how. I didn’t leave her though. I followed her and found her at the reception talking to a nurse — “ I left hospital at 4 a.m. and again was called in” I did feel bad for her( a few seconds)
They are humans too, sleep deprived and over worked, but come on when I trust you with the life of my loved one have the decency to TALK to me. All I’m asking for is a couple of more minutes. Most doctors do this here. Some even reprimand you if you ask questions. I think it’s the authority syndrome we have in our country. No one is supposed to talk to a Police officer or a Principal or anyone who holds ‘power’. We are expected to take instructions, address them “Sir” You can’t have a conversation with such figures. It is not your place. They are above us. Ridiculous! It is a fact that “With Great Power comes Great Responsibilities” (Spider man’s uncle right?) It’s more work, more responsibilities not a stupid crown that demands Stoop-and-Sir me respect!

How to change the world!

I belong to the ordinary working kind. All my days pretty much are the same. I wake up at six thirty, cook lunch for twenty thirty minutes, wake up my daughter (which takes approximately fifteen minutes), cajole her to finish her morning duties. I brush her teeth and bathe her( as cajolery fails miserably). I shout at the top of my lungs when she complains about how cold the water is or how I pour the water in her head without telling her first.

 It’s a battle field, the bathroom.

 Then comes the uniform… the id card that goes missing every single morning.

 My million runs to the kitchen to make something that could be called as “cooked.”

Next, is the struggle to make her eat breakfast, which is just a small portion of the lunch I just made for school.  I shout incessantly,  while I am in the shower too “finish your lunch…sorry breakfast”, “fill your water bottle”, “wear your shoes”  … (Here I must say this “ Thank god for Velcro!”)

The battle is not over, it is only relocated!

 We hop on the two wheeler and off to school. The traffic on the school road is something scarier as kids are in the scene too. Everyone is in a hurry,  and every grown up there including me violates road rules. Once I overtook a van from the left and the driver shouted at me angrily. It was a total embarrassment and the presence of my daughter made me feel  even more shameful. And there were times when I am affected by someone else’s mistake. It is a mayhem out there. The bad roads to the school infuriated me. It made me think about the country and the serious infra structure issues we have.

I wanted to put an end this routine of mine. 

Now I wake up at five thirty. The first thing I do is play 9x0 or VH1. I cook what I have learnt from the net, quick and easy recipes, that my daughter loves. I stopped giving her lunch in the morning, instead I give her something simple like scrambled eggs and milk or dosa.  

I made her a checklist too “My Day My Behavior!” The first question is “Did I wake up with a smile?” and the last is “Did I brush my teeth before bed?” just simple eight questions that she has to check every night. And at the end of each week I reward her if she gets all eight ticks. Rewards include visit to a park, mehendhi  or ice cream.  I didn’t have to shout no more.

And the road to school…wow! I could feel the wind now, something very simple but that which I didn’t feel before. The world is beautiful again. And I changed it by changing me. Yes this is an age old technique and we all must have heard this mentioned by some wise men , but this one actually works! It is true.  Still there are unpleasantness in home or on the road or at work but I would say my morning routine has improved my life a lot!

tHe jOy Of dOing nOthinG!

  The joy of doing nothing, that is what I want to give my eight year old daughter this summer.  Many things have changed because of technology, and parenting is one of them.  I don’t know if we are becoming stronger or weaker as a well - read-digitally- driven - group that knows everything about everything. Special summer classes are happening everywhere. Drawing, handwriting, water play, pottery, abacus, mental math, aqua yoga and the list continues.  For families with both the parents working and no grandparents at home, these classes function as day care though.

                              School starts from June, the new class teacher, the old friends who are in a different sections now, the heavy back packs (New? yeah, but still heavy!), the new rules  and the sudden expectations….the class tests and aftermath of it, the yearnings to get the class leader badge and the big disappointment of not getting it…kids go through a lot! It is not all torture but they do go through major changes at a very young age. It is merely the training we give them so that they become like us! I don’t think any adult can say that they are truly happy and content with their life.  Eleven months of school and serious learning , don’t they deserve just thirty days of craziness?

                        Kids of the new age can “do” but do they know to “think”? The best time of my childhood was the alone time I spent on the “mottamadi” making face creams for my dollies by mixing chalk powder and water, and the times I melted plastic spoons.  I built a tent with four blankets , as I did not have a room of my own, and read comics all day sitting inside undisturbed by my mom and my sisters.   

                          Self-reliance is rarely taught to kids these days. Leadership skills and team work are over emphasized in today’s society. Yes these special classes will teach them to lead a team, to function efficiently in a group but that is what happens in school time too.  I am just saying that kids should let  ‘be’  and that parents will be amazed to see what they could do.