Fill it Up! Fill it Up!

Self realization is a never ending process. I was smart, independent and even had deep thoughts in my much younger years. I remember this particular moment, while I was walking on the road holding my mom’s hand, thinking about my Existence. I was six or seven.

Then it all faded away, as I was involved in finding happiness from the outside. The dumb years of my adulthood has come to an end.

 Many of us struggle as we try to fit into someone else’s design. I grew up with the idea of finding true love, it was always about finding the right person. It was never about me. It was never about who I am and What I could bring to my life. And it took me several years, a bad marriage and a broken heart to know this.

I am delighted that I know the truth now. Better late than never they say. It is Me now. Once you are in your Design, others diminish and you can see things clearly.

 With the strong sense of Self we weaken the possibilities of getting wrecked.

A happy self is what can give joy to others. We become more appreciative too of the things we see in this world. Life is beautiful when we open our eyes to the simple small things, be it a sunset or a happy couple or a bunch of silly kids or even someone from a different species.

Life is still beautiful even when things go wrong and we can’t take it anymore. It’s the sweet happy memories of the good times we had come lift us up. They give the hope that it all is going to happen again. If not right away but soon.

Yes it is sad or even scary to be alone or to be with any other kind of difficulty in life, but shouldn’t we count our other blessings?

  

An angel of a daughter, a loving family of supportive parents and crazy sisters, nephews who worship me, a cousin who never forgets to call and say hi, and random strangers who become best friends for life, can fill up any kind of emptiness.

Worst or the Coolest?

If you have read my other posts then you know about the difficulties I have raising my daughter. It is not because of other complications like being single. The fact of the matter is Parenting is tough.

I tell the truth when she asks me  difficult-to-answer questions. Once she asked me how they take babies from mommies and I told her the truth (skipping the gory part of course) I even showed her my stitches when we discussed this. She was just six but she came to me to ‘talk’ to ‘know.’

I don’t worry about her health too much. Some parents freak out if their kids fall and hurt themselves. I am one of the kind that high fives her after a fall. If she is in pain I tell her what to do next.

And how do I make her do something like eating her meal or bathing? I tell her if she doesn’t do it then she can forget about her tab that day. It works like magic.

No matter how smart you think you are, or how better you think you are than your own parent or how many hours you spend reading about parenting - you are never prepared for times of struggle.

I lose my temper sometimes especially in the mornings. I yell at her or do something which I regret later. But recently I learnt a trick (actually a truth… in a weird way)

My daughter is my E.T.!

You don’t get mad at E.T. if he spills milk or refuses to eat or cries like a baby to take a bath. When she does something that upsets me I tell myself that she’s new to this planet and has just started learning ‘our ways’ This single thought has changed our relationship in a big way. Most of all it has taught me to be more patient. That’s the key to be a good parent.

So when I see her as an alien from a far off planet the things that normally makes me mad at her don’t anymore.  

 I could be wrong about all this.

But as the child learns to be, so do we about being a parent.