Bloody beautiful!

Okay this one’s going to be really touchy. Reader discretion is advised.

       I was twelve when I learnt about period. I was in seventh grade in a class of four girls! Yeah, just four! Every now and then I found myself left alone by my friends. One would whisper something into the ear of the other and I would see them all (all three!)  leave the classroom. All they said to me was “you’re a small girl.” That one line made me feel really small. I found it weird too when they checked out   each other’s skirt.  I wanted to get that, the “whatever big girl” thing they had got. 

         So the first time I saw something brown on my panties I was so damn happy. Two great things had happened to me – Id be included in all the discussions and the “outings” of my girls and I didn’t have to go to school for a week or so! I was in heaven. At home I was given special food and my thought was

                       “ Finally I’m visible!”  

          (you’ll understand this only if you are a middle child!) 

   And when I went back to school oh with what pride I walked into the class!

                      Next month…I was so shocked to see the actual blood red blood between my legs. The pain was unbearable. I had never experienced that kind of pain ever in my thirteen years of life. It was inexplicable. Besides I had not seen any other “big girl” cry because of this thing before.  Every month this continued.  I would hide under the blanket, moaning and crying, all day. I didn’t  want to eat I did not even want to drink water,  as everything was so damn painful even moving about to pee. The sight of the blood only made the experience even more awful.  

                          I was taken to a hospital once, as this had become my period ritual. I was taken into a small room and the doctor asked me to take off my pants. I thought she was going to just take a look at “it”.  So innocently (ignorantly) I asked her the need of her gloves.  She said that she was going to put her fingers into my thing, my heart just froze. 

                      What the fuck!  I pulled up my pants and ran out.

      Some women are so lucky that they don’t feel any pain during their period. This one time I heard my colleague say that it’s a beautiful thing. Not to me it is!

Even now, after twenty fucking two years of experience, it spends a chill down my spine.  I know the biological importance of it, but does it have to dreadful?  I tried it all, even herbal remedies, but nothing worked. 

                           There is no particular reason for my painful period, my uterus is all healthy but it just sends me to bloody hell once a month.