R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Life itself seems hard enough some days, and a life without sex seems really hard to accept.  How do I live a life with no sex? It sucks big time. But not all days are difficult. It is during few days  before and after my period, that I struggle with the rushing emotions and the resulting frustration.  I know it has to do with the hormones and not  my mind, but it is so strong that nothing I do calms it down. I do everything I can to escape it, tasty meal from a good restaurant, tub of my favorite ice cream, anything…but nothing works.  Even music fails.  I know I am not the only one who goes through this. There are many who live a life without being able to enjoy the union of two bodies,  even the married ones! So here I am saluting the persons, married or divorced, who live a life with no sex.

Married / Screwed?

Name?

“Skyla”

Mrs. Skyla?

“No Miss Skyla!”

Miss?….age?

“31”

But miss?

“Yes”

     Such tiny conversation I had with the lady behind the reception at a scan center. She was polite, making an appointment for me with a smile on her face. She must be my age or younger. Married for sure, saw her bright yellow ‘thali’. I went there to take a mammogram and what gave her the shock was me telling her that I was a miss not a mrs! This title thing is getting on my nerve these days! Why is marriage given so much importance? Let me rephrase…why is marriage before thirty- ish so important?

     Speaking of my own life, I got a divorce not just because I married the wrong guy, but because I married him for wrong reasons too. Like many women I had to ‘control’ my emotions and the biological urges of my body. Marriage here is the only way to have sex (well in majority of cases). It is quite natural and normal for an adult to long for a companion who is hoped to satisfy you emotionally and sexually.  But to find such a person is a herculean task, given the innumerable restrictions for a woman.

     I was crazily in love with my ex, but he married me as he  lost hope of getting a ‘proper’ marriage from his family. Men are not our enemy and not all men are bad. I would not have gotten married if live-in relationships are not a taboo here. Most of us get married because that is the next thing to do after one finishes education and gets a job. Marriage, both arranged and non-arranged, is a big gamble. There are pros and cons in both the types, but the main reason for it to take place is – everyone does it and so does everyone.

​Yes, live-in relationships spoil our “culture” – one woman for one man – but come on whom are we kidding? ‘To get married’ should be a seriously- taken- individual decision.  No one should get married because of their parents or because of the pressure from the society or because one wants to be loved.

     And if you do get married for one such reason then yeah you are screwed!