Bra Happy!

I was introduced to a pair of bra in my mid teen. I was thrilled to wear them as they made me feel  like a ‘woman.’  But after years of wearing them I developed this love-hate relationship with them.   

 Desiderious Erasmus, a Dutch  philosopher , said “Women – Can’t live with them,  Can’t  live without them.” Well that’s exactly how I would define  Bra. Bra can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Most days I throw them away as soon as I am home. The breeze,  after a long day of imprisonment. The best feeling any woman can have!

 Bras are always given a special treatment than the rest of the clothes.  I have seen my mom drying them in a dingy corner where no one can see them.  Though other clothes end up everywhere in the house,  bras are always kept out of sight. It is as if it is considered as a shameful piece of clothing.  It is not regarded highly  and not too much is spent on them, as it is not going to be ‘seen’ by others. The logic!  And when the strap is seen especially when in saree people jump to your rescue and mouth you or signal you that it needs to be sent back to its place. 

So that’s how I was made to understand them. Padded ones are for girls who are shameless and immoral. The old fashioned, plain looking granny bras that cover the boobs completely and make them as flat as possible are for the good girls.

Since I have started exploring my single, adult life I visited the padded bra section. When I try new things like making friends or riding alone to the mountains I thought Why Not this. So in my entire life, for the very first time I bought padded ones and underwire bras. The comfort they provide is indescribable. I feel so ‘free’ in them. They do support the breasts very well, much better than the morally good ones.  

 I spent close to one thousand on one pair and got the wrath of my mom.  But my ‘girls’ are happy.  Bras don’t need ‘special’ treatment. They are an essential and spending money on them in order to get the right ones is very important.

This is one of the  most  simple things that I  learnt very late (in my thirties...God!).  And I am not ashamed of admitting to have been this naive all these years. It is the idea behind the bra that is wrongly infused into our heads.  I am proud that from being a small town girl I have grown into a woman who is not afraid to express her faults or her feminine features.

Now I can breathe and my boobs are happy as well.

Married / Screwed?

Name?

“Skyla”

Mrs. Skyla?

“No Miss Skyla!”

Miss?….age?

“31”

But miss?

“Yes”

     Such tiny conversation I had with the lady behind the reception at a scan center. She was polite, making an appointment for me with a smile on her face. She must be my age or younger. Married for sure, saw her bright yellow ‘thali’. I went there to take a mammogram and what gave her the shock was me telling her that I was a miss not a mrs! This title thing is getting on my nerve these days! Why is marriage given so much importance? Let me rephrase…why is marriage before thirty- ish so important?

     Speaking of my own life, I got a divorce not just because I married the wrong guy, but because I married him for wrong reasons too. Like many women I had to ‘control’ my emotions and the biological urges of my body. Marriage here is the only way to have sex (well in majority of cases). It is quite natural and normal for an adult to long for a companion who is hoped to satisfy you emotionally and sexually.  But to find such a person is a herculean task, given the innumerable restrictions for a woman.

     I was crazily in love with my ex, but he married me as he  lost hope of getting a ‘proper’ marriage from his family. Men are not our enemy and not all men are bad. I would not have gotten married if live-in relationships are not a taboo here. Most of us get married because that is the next thing to do after one finishes education and gets a job. Marriage, both arranged and non-arranged, is a big gamble. There are pros and cons in both the types, but the main reason for it to take place is – everyone does it and so does everyone.

​Yes, live-in relationships spoil our “culture” – one woman for one man – but come on whom are we kidding? ‘To get married’ should be a seriously- taken- individual decision.  No one should get married because of their parents or because of the pressure from the society or because one wants to be loved.

     And if you do get married for one such reason then yeah you are screwed!