Bra Happy!

I was introduced to a pair of bra in my mid teen. I was thrilled to wear them as they made me feel  like a ‘woman.’  But after years of wearing them I developed this love-hate relationship with them.   

 Desiderious Erasmus, a Dutch  philosopher , said “Women – Can’t live with them,  Can’t  live without them.” Well that’s exactly how I would define  Bra. Bra can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Most days I throw them away as soon as I am home. The breeze,  after a long day of imprisonment. The best feeling any woman can have!

 Bras are always given a special treatment than the rest of the clothes.  I have seen my mom drying them in a dingy corner where no one can see them.  Though other clothes end up everywhere in the house,  bras are always kept out of sight. It is as if it is considered as a shameful piece of clothing.  It is not regarded highly  and not too much is spent on them, as it is not going to be ‘seen’ by others. The logic!  And when the strap is seen especially when in saree people jump to your rescue and mouth you or signal you that it needs to be sent back to its place. 

So that’s how I was made to understand them. Padded ones are for girls who are shameless and immoral. The old fashioned, plain looking granny bras that cover the boobs completely and make them as flat as possible are for the good girls.

Since I have started exploring my single, adult life I visited the padded bra section. When I try new things like making friends or riding alone to the mountains I thought Why Not this. So in my entire life, for the very first time I bought padded ones and underwire bras. The comfort they provide is indescribable. I feel so ‘free’ in them. They do support the breasts very well, much better than the morally good ones.  

 I spent close to one thousand on one pair and got the wrath of my mom.  But my ‘girls’ are happy.  Bras don’t need ‘special’ treatment. They are an essential and spending money on them in order to get the right ones is very important.

This is one of the  most  simple things that I  learnt very late (in my thirties...God!).  And I am not ashamed of admitting to have been this naive all these years. It is the idea behind the bra that is wrongly infused into our heads.  I am proud that from being a small town girl I have grown into a woman who is not afraid to express her faults or her feminine features.

Now I can breathe and my boobs are happy as well.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Life itself seems hard enough some days, and a life without sex seems really hard to accept.  How do I live a life with no sex? It sucks big time. But not all days are difficult. It is during few days  before and after my period, that I struggle with the rushing emotions and the resulting frustration.  I know it has to do with the hormones and not  my mind, but it is so strong that nothing I do calms it down. I do everything I can to escape it, tasty meal from a good restaurant, tub of my favorite ice cream, anything…but nothing works.  Even music fails.  I know I am not the only one who goes through this. There are many who live a life without being able to enjoy the union of two bodies,  even the married ones! So here I am saluting the persons, married or divorced, who live a life with no sex.

For the love of shoes!

Respect!  A word which is very sacred. But the way it is shown here is sometimes so silly. I’m talking about the removal- of- footwear- respect.   It is out of question in temples, and it doesn’t bother me as I hardly visit one.  “Please remove your footwear” in hospitals and in colleges really pisses me off. The people who work there can, but no one else can’t. How is it fair?  Walking barefoot in a place where sick people visit is something hard to be accepted by me, even as I go there for a consultation myself.

 This is a rule in textiles showrooms, beauty salons, browsing centers and etc. Not all but at most places to be clear. This one act serves both the purposes to show respect and to keep a clean floor, neither is okay to me. This is a common practice in colleges too. Making students come in formals and then asking them to go barefoot in labs is contradictory. Thank god they spared the classrooms.  I asked my students not to remove their shoes one time after a “stinking” experience earlier. And I was informed by the lab in-charge person not to let that happen anymore. How can wearing shoes mean that you don’t respect someone? Okay if it is something religious, then why practice it in common places and in places of learning? 

The birth of many restrictions is because of the fear of negative consequences. Need to clean often?—No footwear, Need to show respect?—No footwear.  We are never prepared for the worst, but instead we are scared to try or accept anything new. And if anyone defies these "rules" then they are "influenced" by western culture! You want their tie, but not the shoes? Emulate the attire but leave the perception and attitude? Yes, some things end up bad and it is wise to avoid it, but there is no point in saying No to anything that is new or from a distant land.

Some of us were asked in a meeting if we should allow students to use cell phones. Only two of ten were for it. And the reason given for its restriction was –they will take pictures too, of girls and even the teachers. Yes that will happen but for that should it be a big No? It is like LPG, every house has one. Many get hurt or even killed when it bursts because of negligence or poor maintenance or of any other reason. Should we stop using that too? It was not in our “culture”  why did we say Yes to that?

It is time for us to change, to stop being adamant and accept good things from any part of the globe.