Bra Happy!

I was introduced to a pair of bra in my mid teen. I was thrilled to wear them as they made me feel  like a ‘woman.’  But after years of wearing them I developed this love-hate relationship with them.   

 Desiderious Erasmus, a Dutch  philosopher , said “Women – Can’t live with them,  Can’t  live without them.” Well that’s exactly how I would define  Bra. Bra can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Most days I throw them away as soon as I am home. The breeze,  after a long day of imprisonment. The best feeling any woman can have!

 Bras are always given a special treatment than the rest of the clothes.  I have seen my mom drying them in a dingy corner where no one can see them.  Though other clothes end up everywhere in the house,  bras are always kept out of sight. It is as if it is considered as a shameful piece of clothing.  It is not regarded highly  and not too much is spent on them, as it is not going to be ‘seen’ by others. The logic!  And when the strap is seen especially when in saree people jump to your rescue and mouth you or signal you that it needs to be sent back to its place. 

So that’s how I was made to understand them. Padded ones are for girls who are shameless and immoral. The old fashioned, plain looking granny bras that cover the boobs completely and make them as flat as possible are for the good girls.

Since I have started exploring my single, adult life I visited the padded bra section. When I try new things like making friends or riding alone to the mountains I thought Why Not this. So in my entire life, for the very first time I bought padded ones and underwire bras. The comfort they provide is indescribable. I feel so ‘free’ in them. They do support the breasts very well, much better than the morally good ones.  

 I spent close to one thousand on one pair and got the wrath of my mom.  But my ‘girls’ are happy.  Bras don’t need ‘special’ treatment. They are an essential and spending money on them in order to get the right ones is very important.

This is one of the  most  simple things that I  learnt very late (in my thirties...God!).  And I am not ashamed of admitting to have been this naive all these years. It is the idea behind the bra that is wrongly infused into our heads.  I am proud that from being a small town girl I have grown into a woman who is not afraid to express her faults or her feminine features.

Now I can breathe and my boobs are happy as well.

We, the Machine Makers!

                  What is the end of education? It makes you a better person.  But now?  Education is a means to make money or like in many cases to get a prospective marriage proposal.  Young minds are expected to get the degree and see big bucks right away. Not their fault, because education is given to them by people who want to see big bucks. It is not a service to the society, to give back, that is in the minds of the people (mostly successful business men) who run such institutions. This idea of “real success is if you make money” is forced on everyone. One common goal for all. And the result every individual learner is expected to act and talk and even look the same way.

            It begins from school, in the form of Uniform! The idea behind this uniform culture here is so that the kids know that they are equals. But are they? Why hide the fact from them? Why not teach them the truth for a change? That some are rich and some are not so and that it is all fine as long  as  you have a good heart.

             My daughter is allowed to wear hair clips or head bands only if those are black or white.  Why this lesson on discrimination at a young age?  It is decided that other colors are not appropriate. May be so the kids will not be distracted from studying and get attracted towards other beautiful things? How depressing! It is like a scene in “the Village” when a hand plucks and crushes the beautiful red flower (or yellow I don’t remember) that has bloomed that morning.

              Every one of us is different and still every one of us must respect each other. Isn’t this we should teach in schools to make them be responsible grown –ups? Instead we deprive them of simple joys and call that “discipline.”  

             “Pig tails and other focus areas” an article by Reena Salil in the Hindu , Coimbatore edition (July 6, Open Page ) discusses a similar issue. The “rule book” for girls is bulkier than boys’.  Too much “protection” is what harms them more. Our culture is so that dependency is the only way for growth of an individual, dependency on the parents or on the code of the society. And so our kids stumble when it comes to making a decision or thinking about doing something new, different from others. That is why the mass production of doctors and engineers.

             It continues to happen in colleges. Individuality is killed here too. How is it possible to expect young adults to behave the same way? Appropriate behavior is fine but the same behavior? If anyone deviates a little then they are wrong and punished, to maintain order. All the thinking is done for them already. Like a live studio audience they are expected to laugh when they are shown a ‘laugh’ board.  That is the condition here now. Choose medicine or engineering, get grilled for four or five years, get a job that pays well. The End? No! They leave the student-proofed school/college and enter into the real world. 

              They learn their real lessons here, the hard way.