Bra Happy!

I was introduced to a pair of bra in my mid teen. I was thrilled to wear them as they made me feel  like a ‘woman.’  But after years of wearing them I developed this love-hate relationship with them.   

 Desiderious Erasmus, a Dutch  philosopher , said “Women – Can’t live with them,  Can’t  live without them.” Well that’s exactly how I would define  Bra. Bra can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Most days I throw them away as soon as I am home. The breeze,  after a long day of imprisonment. The best feeling any woman can have!

 Bras are always given a special treatment than the rest of the clothes.  I have seen my mom drying them in a dingy corner where no one can see them.  Though other clothes end up everywhere in the house,  bras are always kept out of sight. It is as if it is considered as a shameful piece of clothing.  It is not regarded highly  and not too much is spent on them, as it is not going to be ‘seen’ by others. The logic!  And when the strap is seen especially when in saree people jump to your rescue and mouth you or signal you that it needs to be sent back to its place. 

So that’s how I was made to understand them. Padded ones are for girls who are shameless and immoral. The old fashioned, plain looking granny bras that cover the boobs completely and make them as flat as possible are for the good girls.

Since I have started exploring my single, adult life I visited the padded bra section. When I try new things like making friends or riding alone to the mountains I thought Why Not this. So in my entire life, for the very first time I bought padded ones and underwire bras. The comfort they provide is indescribable. I feel so ‘free’ in them. They do support the breasts very well, much better than the morally good ones.  

 I spent close to one thousand on one pair and got the wrath of my mom.  But my ‘girls’ are happy.  Bras don’t need ‘special’ treatment. They are an essential and spending money on them in order to get the right ones is very important.

This is one of the  most  simple things that I  learnt very late (in my thirties...God!).  And I am not ashamed of admitting to have been this naive all these years. It is the idea behind the bra that is wrongly infused into our heads.  I am proud that from being a small town girl I have grown into a woman who is not afraid to express her faults or her feminine features.

Now I can breathe and my boobs are happy as well.

the Mountains...again!

How amazing are we? Human race sure is a very perplexing entity on this planet.  I wonder at the complexities of the ways our mind works. Of all the human emotions, from feeling ecstatic to almost capable of feeling nothing except numbness , the  best is feeling  calmness  while overwhelmed by the  massive bigness of the universe.  When I was sitting on the top of a hill looking at the not so rushing waterfall and the racing mist, nothing seemed more important that the sight itself. It was not my past, nor what is in for me in the coming years that I felt.  It was beautiful to have the mind on pause mode. 

It didn’t last for long though. I got my usual ‘me of myriad thoughts’ back, started to jump around wanting to explore more, Wowed at the sheer size of some wild animal’s poop (Gaur or a gigantic wild boar), Kept touching my ‘essential areas’ checking for leeches (as I wouldn’t mind if the little suckers were anywhere on my legs or in between my toes), repeatedly thanked the person who helped me reach there,  began to plan my next trip, started to think about what my dear ones would say when I take them there  and it went on like that for a while before I shushed it,  took in one last deep breath of the purest pure air and left… left with a piece of bliss that I got from that place. 

I have travelled before but it feels sweeter now as I broke away from some rusty chains that weighed me down.

That shit is offensive!

        The whole world is split into two, one for freedom of speech and the other totally against it. Here I am making my own list. Knowledge of "self"is essential  to get a better understanding of the world. I read many posts on this issue and it made me think about which side I am on.

“yo’mama” and insulting comedy cracks me up but when someone is laughed at or ridiculed in a movie based on their sexuality I cringe.

So in real life when do i get offended?

Here is a short list of things that I consider are offensive.

I am offended when….

1.   someone yells at me at work.

Even if I make a mistake, I don’t wanna be yelled at! I haven’t gotten the zen realization yet, that the offender is just “an empty boat” and calmness of mind is what needed when that happens. I am consciously trying to apply it at such situations. Thanks to Zenhabits blog!

2.    talks to me disrespectfully.

Teasing me is fine I know me and I don’t need anyone’s approval or acceptance, but taking me for a sucker and talking to me with no respect do piss me off.

3.    an old friend doesn’t miss my presence.

some people become a part of our everyday thoughts. I met a wonderful girl four years back, we worked together and she became my  “bestest”  friend. We went everywhere together. She would do anything for me. She waved at guys on the road just to make me laugh. I moved to another town, I missed her terribly but she didn’t and that hurt me the most. Suppressing that emotion, I couldn’t even speak well with her the few times she called.

4.    a man touches me inappropriately when I am on the road helping a woman who was hit by a bike.

Yes, I thought she was the victim, and that she needed my help, but both of us were!

Most men are of the opinion that they can touch a woman and that the she shouldn’t complain about it, because “these things happen” and that if she doesn’t like it then she shouldn’t be on the road for any reason whatsoever! Scumbags!

5.   a woman breaks my trust and hurts me merely out of jealousy.

I am in many ways like her and so we hit it off very well at the start. She even offered to help me when she learnt I was a battered wife. But everything changed when I became popular with the colleagues more than her.  It just happened that some preferred me over her, to hang out or to decide on things. And she became my worst enemy as she knew all details of my personal life. The one whom I admired became the one to trouble me at work.

6.   some nice (?) guys, whom I think I can be friends with, think of me as a sex deprived single mom.

I don’t believe in labeling and generalizing (that’s why “most men” in my posts ) but how married women are treated or seen is different from how single(unmarried or divorced) women are perceived. Married women are not to be “played with” here. I think it’s out of fear, of facing the angry husband. May be.  The level of risk is higher for single women. I am hurt when an otherwise good guy thinks he can have a fling with me because I live alone.  That’s cruel.

7.   people of “power” (at work esp.) don’t offer me a chair.

Oh the stupid things we follow at (my) work place! Mr. “someone” is rude and “someone Sir” is respectful. Standing in front of a higher authority is respectful and sitting is not. Morons!

This doesn’t mean I am all innocent and saintly. I hurt others too in known and unknown ways.

But  the more I experience this unpleasantness the less I do it to others.

And I am happy with that.