After the 'D' word

We are social beings, no denying that, but living alone (as in with no spouse) is also possible.  My friends (not all, some are still sensible) tell me that I should think about my end years and that I need to find me a man. I tell them it is scary to be alone without having no one to hold your hand as you die or not to have anyone beside the” bed” ( that’s how it is always shown in the movies, a white hospital room and a comfy bed!) But lately I have found  that I can live life with ease on my own. But I would definitely want the comfy bed and my family and friends beside me.

I had my doubts about this, but it is such a great feeling to know that I can.  My decision is influenced greatly by my heartbreaks. But that doesn’t mean I have lost faith in Men or in Marriage. It is joyful to be in the presence of couples in love. And sometimes it is not. May be I am cynical or being cautious of not wanting to feel that way again.  I believe marriage is just not meant for all. It doesn’t and shouldn’t have to be an absolute necessity of life.   

There are many stars in my sky. Such blessing take me where I need to be. 

I leave a heavy sigh of relief when I look back at my life before divorce.

Just some small but significant changes before and after.

B.D.	A.D.
Constant pressure to cook ALL 3 MEALS…EVERYDAY!	Cook when I feel like it or if it’s a total shut down and all restaurants in the city are closed.
Need to get “Permission” to do anything(to watch tv or to go to mom’s place)	Conversation: the calendar and myself. As simple as that.
Spending days and months  thinking about and hoping  to be taken out for a dinner or a movie	All I have to do is move my ass…Anytime, to Anywhere.
No “me time” even when in physical pain and deserve a cat nap.	Watch in stillness how time flies. Sometimes too much time at hand that it is spent for rearranging the furniture. Ridiculous, isn’t it?
An extra second spent after opening the fridge door ends up in at least a ten minute verbal abuse. Scarring criticism for every move.	Reprimand or compliment, just my mind to listen to.
Hide all the “disgusting girlie stuff”  from view	The door  is not closed when peeing!
Keep a dead face so as the friendly neighbor guy won’t smile anymore and so avoid holocaust at home.	Neighbors are friends and some of them are MEN!
Stash the pizza boxes in a place where it can never be found  till the garbage collector’s visit the next morning. (Food from out is strictly prohibited)	Pizza is no longer a 'Blood Diamond.' (No way related to this… but what a treat it is to see both Leonardo DiCaprio and Djimon Hounsou together!)

The waahhs and the wows!

                   When I say “babies” and If your face lights up, the funny baby videos you watched on youtube come to your mind, then it means just one thing and one thing only…You don’t have one yet! Babies also cry which is fine for a while, but if it doesn’t stop you could lose your mind over it. The constant drooling and the puking can also be dealt with, but they make the nastiest smelling poop! And it doesn’t stop till they do stuff for themselves.

                   Kids are like puppies in many ways. You pick up the poop your puppy made with your hands, and that’s how much you love it. And that’s the same with kids. Yeah they are cranky and clingy, but they are the closest we have of god. There’s too much work involved but we still love them to death.

                 “Bala vihar” is an art class for kids from five to seven from the TFA (Temple of Fine Arts). To watch the kids learn slokas and dancing is a lot of fun. Read it again please! To watch…To teach them is a different task all together.

It was decided to have a musical production. The script was carefully prepared by the dynamic teacher of the class, keeping in mind all the kids (close to forty). The right ones were taken for each part after auditions. There was a monkey dance , lunch break scene, at- night scene, Krishna dance, class room scene 1 and 2 and singing group. The “akkas” (sisters), teen agers who are also dance instructors took the challenge of training each group for the final performance.

                          The first few days of the rehearsal was cha-O-tic! The kids who were quiet and at their best behaviours in all the previous classes have become noisy  and uncontrollable. No one listened and no one wanted to listen. The “akkas” found it very difficult to manage them. There was shouting…from both the sides! There was real struggle!

                           In the commotion a child who was not unwell puked in the middle of the hall. And there was a girl who kept crying from the start of the class (since six months!) The teacher told her in an assertive but not so rude voice to stop crying and then she quietly took a mop and cleaned the puke herself, got back to her group like nothing happened.She handled all kinds of chaos so well and got them back to normalcy so easily.

                           And after class this one woman also dealt with the teenagers. A seventh grader (in charge of the “exercise group”) was in tears after rehearsal, so innocently she asked “is it that difficult for the kids to stand straight? Why won’t they listen to me?” Real tears! Real work!

                            Though I was a mere spectator in the class one day I had to watch six girls till they were called for the voice recording. We were all on the terrace, while the recording took place in one of the rooms downstairs. The teacher was with the recording group. The girls kept jumping around as they were very excited to be there. I was asked to keep them quiet so as not to disturb the recording. I tried everything, nothing worked and a tiny stick of lipcolor did the trick! I let them watch me as I took it from my purse slowly…after all the wuuuuh’s and wow’s they silently waited for their turn as I put it on their tiny pretty lips. Absolute silence! No one wanted to shout or jump anymore. Phew!

                     All the noices and all the tears faded into nothing on the day of performance. It was sheer magic on stage! All the work that went behind the stage finally paid off. The kids all shone like the stars that they are! The proud parents watched, their sons and daughters sing and dance and recite slokas, with tears in their eyes. 
                     The teacher and the “akkas” are still waiting for the video of the performance, as they were standing behind the curtains!