That shit is offensive!

        The whole world is split into two, one for freedom of speech and the other totally against it. Here I am making my own list. Knowledge of "self"is essential  to get a better understanding of the world. I read many posts on this issue and it made me think about which side I am on.

“yo’mama” and insulting comedy cracks me up but when someone is laughed at or ridiculed in a movie based on their sexuality I cringe.

So in real life when do i get offended?

Here is a short list of things that I consider are offensive.

I am offended when….

1.   someone yells at me at work.

Even if I make a mistake, I don’t wanna be yelled at! I haven’t gotten the zen realization yet, that the offender is just “an empty boat” and calmness of mind is what needed when that happens. I am consciously trying to apply it at such situations. Thanks to Zenhabits blog!

2.    talks to me disrespectfully.

Teasing me is fine I know me and I don’t need anyone’s approval or acceptance, but taking me for a sucker and talking to me with no respect do piss me off.

3.    an old friend doesn’t miss my presence.

some people become a part of our everyday thoughts. I met a wonderful girl four years back, we worked together and she became my  “bestest”  friend. We went everywhere together. She would do anything for me. She waved at guys on the road just to make me laugh. I moved to another town, I missed her terribly but she didn’t and that hurt me the most. Suppressing that emotion, I couldn’t even speak well with her the few times she called.

4.    a man touches me inappropriately when I am on the road helping a woman who was hit by a bike.

Yes, I thought she was the victim, and that she needed my help, but both of us were!

Most men are of the opinion that they can touch a woman and that the she shouldn’t complain about it, because “these things happen” and that if she doesn’t like it then she shouldn’t be on the road for any reason whatsoever! Scumbags!

5.   a woman breaks my trust and hurts me merely out of jealousy.

I am in many ways like her and so we hit it off very well at the start. She even offered to help me when she learnt I was a battered wife. But everything changed when I became popular with the colleagues more than her.  It just happened that some preferred me over her, to hang out or to decide on things. And she became my worst enemy as she knew all details of my personal life. The one whom I admired became the one to trouble me at work.

6.   some nice (?) guys, whom I think I can be friends with, think of me as a sex deprived single mom.

I don’t believe in labeling and generalizing (that’s why “most men” in my posts ) but how married women are treated or seen is different from how single(unmarried or divorced) women are perceived. Married women are not to be “played with” here. I think it’s out of fear, of facing the angry husband. May be.  The level of risk is higher for single women. I am hurt when an otherwise good guy thinks he can have a fling with me because I live alone.  That’s cruel.

7.   people of “power” (at work esp.) don’t offer me a chair.

Oh the stupid things we follow at (my) work place! Mr. “someone” is rude and “someone Sir” is respectful. Standing in front of a higher authority is respectful and sitting is not. Morons!

This doesn’t mean I am all innocent and saintly. I hurt others too in known and unknown ways.

But  the more I experience this unpleasantness the less I do it to others.

And I am happy with that.

        

Bloody beautiful!

Okay this one’s going to be really touchy. Reader discretion is advised.

       I was twelve when I learnt about period. I was in seventh grade in a class of four girls! Yeah, just four! Every now and then I found myself left alone by my friends. One would whisper something into the ear of the other and I would see them all (all three!)  leave the classroom. All they said to me was “you’re a small girl.” That one line made me feel really small. I found it weird too when they checked out   each other’s skirt.  I wanted to get that, the “whatever big girl” thing they had got. 

         So the first time I saw something brown on my panties I was so damn happy. Two great things had happened to me – Id be included in all the discussions and the “outings” of my girls and I didn’t have to go to school for a week or so! I was in heaven. At home I was given special food and my thought was

                       “ Finally I’m visible!”  

          (you’ll understand this only if you are a middle child!) 

   And when I went back to school oh with what pride I walked into the class!

                      Next month…I was so shocked to see the actual blood red blood between my legs. The pain was unbearable. I had never experienced that kind of pain ever in my thirteen years of life. It was inexplicable. Besides I had not seen any other “big girl” cry because of this thing before.  Every month this continued.  I would hide under the blanket, moaning and crying, all day. I didn’t  want to eat I did not even want to drink water,  as everything was so damn painful even moving about to pee. The sight of the blood only made the experience even more awful.  

                          I was taken to a hospital once, as this had become my period ritual. I was taken into a small room and the doctor asked me to take off my pants. I thought she was going to just take a look at “it”.  So innocently (ignorantly) I asked her the need of her gloves.  She said that she was going to put her fingers into my thing, my heart just froze. 

                      What the fuck!  I pulled up my pants and ran out.

      Some women are so lucky that they don’t feel any pain during their period. This one time I heard my colleague say that it’s a beautiful thing. Not to me it is!

Even now, after twenty fucking two years of experience, it spends a chill down my spine.  I know the biological importance of it, but does it have to dreadful?  I tried it all, even herbal remedies, but nothing worked. 

                           There is no particular reason for my painful period, my uterus is all healthy but it just sends me to bloody hell once a month.

The waahhs and the wows!

                   When I say “babies” and If your face lights up, the funny baby videos you watched on youtube come to your mind, then it means just one thing and one thing only…You don’t have one yet! Babies also cry which is fine for a while, but if it doesn’t stop you could lose your mind over it. The constant drooling and the puking can also be dealt with, but they make the nastiest smelling poop! And it doesn’t stop till they do stuff for themselves.

                   Kids are like puppies in many ways. You pick up the poop your puppy made with your hands, and that’s how much you love it. And that’s the same with kids. Yeah they are cranky and clingy, but they are the closest we have of god. There’s too much work involved but we still love them to death.

                 “Bala vihar” is an art class for kids from five to seven from the TFA (Temple of Fine Arts). To watch the kids learn slokas and dancing is a lot of fun. Read it again please! To watch…To teach them is a different task all together.

It was decided to have a musical production. The script was carefully prepared by the dynamic teacher of the class, keeping in mind all the kids (close to forty). The right ones were taken for each part after auditions. There was a monkey dance , lunch break scene, at- night scene, Krishna dance, class room scene 1 and 2 and singing group. The “akkas” (sisters), teen agers who are also dance instructors took the challenge of training each group for the final performance.

                          The first few days of the rehearsal was cha-O-tic! The kids who were quiet and at their best behaviours in all the previous classes have become noisy  and uncontrollable. No one listened and no one wanted to listen. The “akkas” found it very difficult to manage them. There was shouting…from both the sides! There was real struggle!

                           In the commotion a child who was not unwell puked in the middle of the hall. And there was a girl who kept crying from the start of the class (since six months!) The teacher told her in an assertive but not so rude voice to stop crying and then she quietly took a mop and cleaned the puke herself, got back to her group like nothing happened.She handled all kinds of chaos so well and got them back to normalcy so easily.

                           And after class this one woman also dealt with the teenagers. A seventh grader (in charge of the “exercise group”) was in tears after rehearsal, so innocently she asked “is it that difficult for the kids to stand straight? Why won’t they listen to me?” Real tears! Real work!

                            Though I was a mere spectator in the class one day I had to watch six girls till they were called for the voice recording. We were all on the terrace, while the recording took place in one of the rooms downstairs. The teacher was with the recording group. The girls kept jumping around as they were very excited to be there. I was asked to keep them quiet so as not to disturb the recording. I tried everything, nothing worked and a tiny stick of lipcolor did the trick! I let them watch me as I took it from my purse slowly…after all the wuuuuh’s and wow’s they silently waited for their turn as I put it on their tiny pretty lips. Absolute silence! No one wanted to shout or jump anymore. Phew!

                     All the noices and all the tears faded into nothing on the day of performance. It was sheer magic on stage! All the work that went behind the stage finally paid off. The kids all shone like the stars that they are! The proud parents watched, their sons and daughters sing and dance and recite slokas, with tears in their eyes. 
                     The teacher and the “akkas” are still waiting for the video of the performance, as they were standing behind the curtains!