R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Life itself seems hard enough some days, and a life without sex seems really hard to accept.  How do I live a life with no sex? It sucks big time. But not all days are difficult. It is during few days  before and after my period, that I struggle with the rushing emotions and the resulting frustration.  I know it has to do with the hormones and not  my mind, but it is so strong that nothing I do calms it down. I do everything I can to escape it, tasty meal from a good restaurant, tub of my favorite ice cream, anything…but nothing works.  Even music fails.  I know I am not the only one who goes through this. There are many who live a life without being able to enjoy the union of two bodies,  even the married ones! So here I am saluting the persons, married or divorced, who live a life with no sex.

Worst or the Coolest?

If you have read my other posts then you know about the difficulties I have raising my daughter. It is not because of other complications like being single. The fact of the matter is Parenting is tough.

I tell the truth when she asks me  difficult-to-answer questions. Once she asked me how they take babies from mommies and I told her the truth (skipping the gory part of course) I even showed her my stitches when we discussed this. She was just six but she came to me to ‘talk’ to ‘know.’

I don’t worry about her health too much. Some parents freak out if their kids fall and hurt themselves. I am one of the kind that high fives her after a fall. If she is in pain I tell her what to do next.

And how do I make her do something like eating her meal or bathing? I tell her if she doesn’t do it then she can forget about her tab that day. It works like magic.

No matter how smart you think you are, or how better you think you are than your own parent or how many hours you spend reading about parenting - you are never prepared for times of struggle.

I lose my temper sometimes especially in the mornings. I yell at her or do something which I regret later. But recently I learnt a trick (actually a truth… in a weird way)

My daughter is my E.T.!

You don’t get mad at E.T. if he spills milk or refuses to eat or cries like a baby to take a bath. When she does something that upsets me I tell myself that she’s new to this planet and has just started learning ‘our ways’ This single thought has changed our relationship in a big way. Most of all it has taught me to be more patient. That’s the key to be a good parent.

So when I see her as an alien from a far off planet the things that normally makes me mad at her don’t anymore.  

 I could be wrong about all this.

But as the child learns to be, so do we about being a parent.

Growing Up Sucks!

As you age, you change roles and the responsibilities mount up day after day and you feel like there is no air left for you to breathe in.  This has been talked about for ages, how as we grow up we lose the joy of being a child, of seeing beauty in any simplest of things.

If growing up means looking all serious and not smiling or laughing loudly then screw it! I don’t want to be a grown up!

If growing up means not playing hide and seek  with the neighborhood kids, then I don’t want to be a grown up!

If growing up means showing no emotion when someone in higher position insults you or annoys you, then, no I don’t want to be a grown up!

If growing up means nodding your head  to the words of your boss no matter how senseless they are, I don’t wanna be a grown up… Ever!

If growing up means looking at the rainbow and saying  ”yeah that’s a rainbow” with no scream of joy, then Hell No! I don’t wanna be a grown up!

 If growing up means not slipping into the pit of sadness and not shedding tears, then no I dont wanna be a grown up!
If growing up means  living in fear of consequences, of future, of failing, of  losing job, of losing reputation, then I refuse to be a grown up!

I fear losing a dear friend to misunderstanding, of losing a loved one to time, of losing an experience by being too careful.

 I would rather climb up the shaky ladder feel the exhilarating view for just a few seconds, fall down and hurt myself  than just be safe.  “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”

I would rather “Stop and Stare” the wondrous world of nature  than to attend a stupid meeting on time. I will come up with an awesome excuse later, because I AM ALIVE!